17 Designer Handbags That Reflect the Real You

It all used to be simple. A Birkin meant you had everything. A Mansur Gavriel meant you’d sold your mother’s Birkin and moved near a Bird. And a Telfar meant you were too cool to care about either. Now, there are a gazillion niche bags that say something precise about their carriers.

For instance, an SC103 can say a person is savvy in the kitchen but maybe not with their 401(k). A Khaite Elena owner might also own a Bellini Camaleonda sofa. You get the idea, right? Below, even more hyperspecific judgments.

If you have a hairless cat …

And/or freaky stuffed animals missing at least one eyeball. You probably have a suggestive papaya-shaped candle. You learned how to knit as an adult and are considering monetizing your hobby.

Then you might carry:

Puppets and Puppets Banana Hobo

$545

$545

Illustration: Peter Arkle; Photo: Courtesy of the Vendor

$545

at Puppets and Puppets

Buy

If you order the “cigarette martini” at Tigre …

And carry a small digital camera with you on weekends. You’re the friend who didn’t read the group-Euro-trip Google doc, but no one’s mad at you because you’re fun — and you put your credit card down for a few dinners.

Then you might carry:

Bottega Veneta “Teen Jodie” Bag

$3,500

$3,500

Illustration: Peter Arkle; Photo: Courtesy of the Vendor

$3,500

at Bottega Veneta

Buy

If you have listened to every episode of Travis Kelce’s podcast …

(Well, you’ve seen the clips on TikTok.) But you didn’t watch the Super Bowl. You bring your limited-edition Stanley tumbler on your private jet. You call your mom every day.

Then you might carry:

Louis Vuitton P9 Bandoulière 50 Speedy

$12,400

$12,400

Illustration: Peter Arkle; Photo: Courtesy of the Vendor

$12,400

at Louis Vuitton

Buy

If you snuck out at 13 to go to Limelight …

And now spend your weekends at Habibi and your winters at Palm Heights. If someone described you as “messy,” you’d take it as a compliment. You don’t know how to drive.

Then you might carry:

Luar “Ana” Bag

$265

$265

Illustration: Peter Arkle; Photo: Courtesy of the Vendor

$265

at Luar

Buy

If you live on the Upper East Side …

And wake at the same time every day without an alarm clock. The best gift you’ve ever received is an at-home laminator. You’re in a polycule.

Then you might carry:

Thom Browne Hector Bag

$2,690

$2,690

Photo: Courtesy of the Vendor

$2,690

at Thom Browne

Buy

If you had a perfect family in The Sims and never lit anyone on fire …

But your Barbies were a mess. You’re in love with someone who isn’t real. Your favorite part of a cupcake is the frosting.

Then you might carry:

Simone Rocha Cake Bag

$1,275

$1,275

Illustration: Peter Arkle; Photo: Courtesy of the Vendor

$1,275

at SSENSE

Buy

If you own white Air Force 1’s …

And aren’t really bothered by the new Blank Street Coffee in your neighborhood. (The olive-oil cake is really good, you say.) You have so many friends that you’re in at least three different group chats and mute none of them. No one’s ever seen you cry.

Then you might carry:

Uniqlo Round Mini Shoulder Bag

$20

$20

Photo: Courtesy of the Vendor

$20

at Uniqlo

Buy

If you are one of the last remaining girlbosses who hasn’t been canceled …

Your husband, however, has been lightly canceled — and is completely fine. Your assistant will probably sell this on the RealReal soon.

Then you might carry:

Phoebe Philo Drive Bag

$5,800

$5,800

Photo: Courtesy of the Vendor

$5,800

at Phoebe Philo

Buy

If you graduated from a liberal-arts college between 2012 and 2019 …

And now work at a gallery in Chelsea, just until your small-batch ceramic mugs take off. You are good at roasting radicchio.

Then you might carry:

SC103 “Links” Tote

$450

$450

Photo: Courtesy of the Vendor

$450

at SC103

Buy

If you bring your niece to King Cole Bar when she comes to the city …

And tell her the story about the painting there. (Hint: It has to do with flatulence.) Makes you laugh every time! You love costume jewelry and are the person everyone asks when they need a good recommendation for a dry cleaner.

Then you might carry:

Kate Spade Manhattan Martini Embellished Tote

$398

$398

Illustration: Peter Arkle; Photo: Courtesy of the Vendor

$398

at Saks Fifth Avenue

Buy

If you wept at Kelly Reichart’s Showing Up …

You prefer Hudson to the Hamptons, and your favorite museum is the Noguchi (for the gift shop, of course). You shoplifted once as a teenager and still “forget” to scan things at Whole Foods occasionally, mostly for the thrill.

Then you might carry:

Loewe Flamenco Clutch

$2,600

$2,600

Photo: Courtesy of the Vendor

$2,600

at Loewe

Buy

If you know who Pina Bausch is …

And spend your free time looking at 1960s Italian sconces on 1stDibs for your loft apartment. You’re on the list at Nightmoves. You eat olives for lunch.

Then you might carry:

Lemaire Croissant Bag

$1,495

$1,495

Photo: Courtesy of the Vendor

$1,495

at Lemaire

Buy

If you can’t remember the last time you got a blister …

Or took the subway, except maybe to Bergdorf. You get monthly Rescue Spa facials from Danuta herself, and no one has ever seen you without your nails done or Chanel No. 99 lipstick on. You’ve been married twice (or plan to be).

Then you might carry:

The Row Margaux 15

$4,550

$4,550

Illustration: Peter Arkle; Photo: Courtesy of the Vendor

$4,550

at The Row

Buy

If you know enough about pét-nats to look closely at the menu at Margot in Fort Greene …

But not enough to order for someone else. You don’t paint your toenails, but your feet always look pretty.

Then you might carry:

Fane “Bra” Bag

$656

$656

Illustration: Peter Arkle; Photo: Courtesy of the Vendor

$656

at Fane

Buy

If you have a stainless-steel kitchen and your floors are concrete …

Your white Bellini Camaleonda sofa is somehow pristine. Your favorite restaurant for lunch meetings is La Mercerie, where you order a niçoise salad, but you secretly love the McDonald’s Big Mac.

Then you might carry:

Khaite Elena Bag

$2,600

$2,600

Photo: Courtesy of the Vendor

$2,600

at Khaite

Buy

If you have 536 unread texts at all times …

And prefer to send voice-notes. You’re renovating your Bed-Stuy brownstone with your partner whom only six of your closest friends have ever met. Your drink of choice is Guinness.

Then you might carry:

Miu Miu Pocket Bag

$3,350

$3,350

Photo: Courtesy of the Vendor

$3,350

at Miu Miu

Buy

If you buy Vogue cigarettes duty free …

And are never home, though your doorman is your best friend. Your favorite restaurant is Raoul’s; the psychic upstairs, Gina, told you to “be more open.” You don’t believe in celebrating your birthday.

Then you might carry:

Alaïa Teckel Bag

$2,250

$2,250

Illustration: Peter Arkle; Photo: Courtesy of the Vendor

$2,250

at Alaïa

Buy

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