Meg 2: The Trench (M, 116 mins) Directed by Ben Wheatley **½
Back in 2018, which really does seem like another world, The Meg was an entertaining and affectionately well-made load of old rubbish about a giant prehistoric shark unexpectedly turning up, very alive and very hungry, in the 21st century.
Even though The Meg was based on a popular novel, I still imagine the pitch-meeting going something like, “Guys!!! It’s Jurassic Jaws!!!”
And, sometimes, that really is all you need.
With Jason Statham onboard as the impossibly wry and heroic type who was going to save the day, a support cast that included Ruby Rose, Cliff Curtis, Rainn Wilson and Li Bing Bing – and a script that stuck to the strengths of the genre and focused on getting the big fish to turn up at the most comedic and inconvenient moments, The Meg couldn’t really fail.
As directed by veteran-at-fun Jon Turteltaub (Cool Runnings, National Treasure), The Meg ticked all the boxes and made a pile of cash for all concerned.
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Everything about Meg 2: The Trench feels both rushed and over-complicated.
So a sequel, I guess, just had to happen. Meg 2: The Trench arrived in our theatres this week, and I reckon it’s pretty much a perfect lesson in what not to do, if you’re planning a sequel to a simple and likeable film about a big fish.
Firstly, Meg 2 is burdened with an actual plot. And that’s the last thing it needs. The first half-hour or so is taken up explaining the purpose of a new deep-sea exploration mission and then introducing a gang of villains who are running an illegal undersea mining operation.
When we first meet Statham, he has morphed into some sort of secret agent, taking down a shipload of bad guys in the mid-Atlantic who are dumping dangerous waste in the ocean. We know this is the case, because the barrels the baddies are lobbing overboard actually have “Dangerous Waste” written on them, just in case anyone thought the guys with the guns, speaking in impenetrable all-purpose Euro-nasty accents, might have been, I dunno, returning Sea-Monkeys to their homes?
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Meg 2 is burdened with an actual plot. And that’s the last thing it needs.
Meg 2 stumbles into a long set-piece onboard the baddies’ undersea base – and then into a hostage situation on the converted oil rig that is the team’s base. And through all that, the sharks barely show up. And when they do, they are such clearly CGI creations, it really does look as though Statham and chums are being attacked by characters from an animation that have stumbled into the wrong film.
Also, a few too many scenes bring to mind the recent fate of the submarine Titan and her crew.
The makers of Meg 2 couldn’t have known it, but the audience for this film are going to a lot more clued-up about submersible design and deep sea pressure than we were even a few months ago. Real life hasn’t done our appreciation for Meg 2 any favours at all.
Around Statham, Page Kennedy and Curtis are back, but oddly subdued. Superstar Wu Jing, Sienna Guillory (Luther), Skyler Samuels and a few other clearly edible cast mates barely raise a sweat.
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The beasties are such clearly CGI creations, it really does look as though Statham and chums are being attacked by characters from an animation that have stumbled into the wrong film.
Director Ben Wheatley (High-Rise) has got terrific horror and comedy chops, but everything about Meg 2: The Trench feels both rushed and over-complicated (And, yes, it is based on a written sequel. Maybe that is the problem).
The Meg worked best as an affectionate parody and homage to Jaws, the shark movie to begin and end them all. And now, just like Jaws, The Meg has a truly sucky sequel. And that’s taking the homage thing just a bit too far.
Meg 2: The Trench is now screening in cinemas nationwide.
