DeSoto County, Florida, is roughly 1400 miles from the border with Mexico, so Gabriel Luviano probably figured that nobody would get too confused when he outfitted his white Chevy Silverado with green decals that evoke the U.S. Border Patrol color scheme. As on actual Border Patrol trucks, Luviano has included a diagonal green stripe across the bed. Unlike real Border Patrol trucks, Luviano’s logo read “Booty Patrol.”
Aside from the insignia on the doors, where an official truck’s decals would read, “U.S. Customs and Border Protection,” Luviano’s says “National Booty Behavior Protection.” Given these differences, and the fact that patrolling the U.S. border in Florida will typically involve some type of vehicle that floats and has one pointy end, you’d guess nobody would earnestly mistake the Booty Patrol for Border Patrol. The county sheriff’s office, however, thought otherwise.
Last week, the county police posted the Facebook version of a Wanted poster, writing:
“The DeSoto County Sheriff’s Office is reaching out to raise awareness about a vehicle equipped with red and blue lights that has been impersonating law enforcement, and it’s not just happening here in DeSoto County, but in several other counties across Florida as well. The vehicle is a white, Chevy Silverado with green decals. If you or anyone you know has been pulled over by this suspicious vehicle or has any information related to these incidents, please do not hesitate to reach out to the DeSoto County Sheriff’s Office Criminal Investigative Division.”
A day later, they updated the post with news that they’d tracked down the dastardly Booty Patrol and issued a $113 ticket “for violating FSS 316.2397, which pertains to Certain Lights Prohibited.” In other words, Florida says you can’t have blue lights on your car, regardless of whether you ever actually turn them on out on the road—which Luviano says he hadn’t.
The Sheriff’s office wrote:
“Our initial post aimed to raise awareness about this incident, ensuring that the public can avoid being duped by such individuals. We extend our sincere gratitude to everyone who called in with information about the suspicious vehicle, as your continued support is crucial in helping us maintain a safe and secure community for our residents.”
There was no word on whether similar law enforcement impersonation accusations would be levied against anyone caught wearing a T-shirt that reads “FBI: Female Body Inspector.” But the public was grateful for this dedicated police work, by which we mean the cops’ Facebook page got deluged with comments like, “Should change your name to the DeSoto County Fun Police,” and “Man, just let them patrol the booty.” One commenter pointed out that, if having the words “Booty Patrol” on your truck constitutes impersonating law enforcement, then law enforcement’s job must be to patrol booties. That’s just flawless logic.
We will of course keep you updated on further developments in this important case.
Senior Editor
Ezra Dyer is a Car and Driver senior editor and columnist. He’s now based in North Carolina but still remembers how to turn right. He owns a 2009 GEM e4 and once drove 206 mph. Those facts are mutually exclusive.
