Confessions of a Facebook group admin: The good, the bad, the awful

Back in April 2018, some colleagues and I got a crazy notion.

Let’s start a Facebook group to talk about food and dining in Brevard, we said. It’ll be fun, we said. It’ll be informational, we said.

It’s been all three and then some.

We celebrated membership hitting the 2,000 mark, then 5,000, and folks kept joining. People started recognizing me as being the lady from 321 Flavor as often as for being the lady from FLORIDA TODAY.

This month, our membership hit 56,000. That’s eight times the population of the town where I grew up, and twice the size of Rockledge, where I live now.

It’s been a crazy five-plus years. I’ve made lots of friends through the group and watched friendships blossom among the members. I’ve learned a lot about the Brevard dining scene, and I’ve learned a lot about people.

Since many of you have helped grow the group, it seems only fair to share some of that knowledge with you.

There are lots of mean people on social media. Let's not let them win.

Brevard has some great dining options

No, we’re not Orlando or Miami or New York. But didn’t a lot of us move here to get away from the traffic, congestion and weather in other places?

You might not find that specific Nigerian moin moin you enjoyed elsewhere, but you’ll find plenty of amazing options.

I’m always taken aback when people tell me there’s no good food in Brevard. Have they never been to The Daley Trade in Titusville, Cafe Margaux or Cypress Table in Cocoa Village, Chez Quan’s in Melbourne, Tely’s in Suntree, Marker 24 on Merritt Island?

New spots are opening all the time. Explore. Try something new. And for those who still think there’s no good food here, did you ever stop to think that maybe you’re the problem, not the restaurants?

When creating a social media post, hope for the best, expect the worst

I feel like Facebook groups should come with a warning: People are mean. Not all people, but enough to make me want to duck and cover sometimes.

In addition to 321 Flavor, I’m a member of a couple of large groups that cater to niche interests: standard poodles and women of a certain age.

Some hot-button topics in those groups include wearing makeup, ungrateful children, when and whether to spay or neuter, ungrateful spouses, the color pink and the proliferation of doodles. I’m a lurker. I’ve never posted in either. I’m too afraid.

The hive brain of a Facebook group can provide a ton of useful information, as long as you’re willing to wade through detritus left by angry people. My favorites are those who complain about how poorly the group is run. The group they joined for free and stay in voluntarily.

Remember: They deserve our pity rather than our angst. What sad, small lives they must live if their only outlet is lashing out at strangers.

Some folks need to lighten up

Why must people lambast a place that’s only been open a few days or weeks? A new place means new employees, new equipment, new procedures. Yes, training is a must, but how, exactly, does one prepare to serve customers without actually serving customers?

I’ve seen it posted many times: “They should be prepared. They shouldn’t use their customers as guinea pigs.” How about looking at it from this point of view: If you don’t want to be used as a guinea pig, get over your fear of missing out and don’t go to a new place the week it opens.

And what’s with attacking a mom-and-pop spot over the slightest infringement? So you got a diet drink instead of regular. No, the server wasn’t making a passive aggressive commentary on your weight. She made a mistake.

Do you want someone coming into your home or job and publicly shaming you for every mishap?

It’s OK to like what you like

Don’t tell some of my highbrow friends, but I like vodka, white bread, Totino’s Pizza Rolls and McDonald’s Happy Meals. I also love a glass of wine with friends at Rebellion Wine Bar in Cocoa Village, anniversary dinner at Ember & Oak in downtown Melbourne, birthday celebrations at the Fat Snook in Cocoa Beach and cocktails at Lourdes Library in Eau Gallie.

You know what? Go ahead and tell those snooty friends if you want. Because (see above) it’s OK to like what you like. How dull would we be if we all loved the same things?

Kindness usually wins

Despite the keyboard ninjas, self-proclaimed foodies and cyber comedians who aren’t the least bit funny, most of the members of 321 Flavor: Where Brevard Eats are genuinely kind people who just want to find the perfect date night spot or want to share a few pictures of an amazing meal.

Every community has its unhappy know-it-alls. How about the rest of us let them wallow in their self-proclaimed superiority? If we ignore them, maybe they’ll just go away.

Happy eating, y’all.

Suzy Fleming Leonard is a features journalist with more than three decades of experience. Reach her at sleonard@floridatoday.com. Find her on Facebook: @SuzyFlemingLeonard or on Instagram: @SuzyLeonard.