We all have our bad days (or weeks, months, etc). But despite feeling the constant pull of wanting to put our best foot forward when it comes to our social media presence, sometimes our best just won’t do. Sometimes it feels good—great, even—to toss caution and manners to the side. So cut loose and tell the world how you really feel. You deserve it.
Baddie Selfie Captions
As the saying goes, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it.” Or at least when you’re able to carefully curate your life through a series of carefully shot and selected photos you can at least act like you do. Nobody will be able to tell the difference, right?
- “We both know you’re jealous.”
- “You’re welcome, world.”
- “I may be bad, but I feel good.”
- “It’s an ode to joy. Joy is me. I’m joy.”
- “My camera can’t get enough of me.”
- “Look at me. Your eyes will thank you.”
- “Here I am, just in case you needed a reminder.”
- “Good. Bad. I’m the guy with these guns.”
- “Things only get better from here.”
- “I’m here to chew gum and look incredible, and I’m all out of gum.”
- “I’m 99% percent angel, but ohhhh, that 1%.” — Unknown
- “Know your limits, because I’m ignoring mine.”
- “I don’t always look this good, but… no, wait, that’s a lie.”
- “I’m smiling on the inside”
- “Drop what you’re doing and look at this.”
- “When you look this good, you don’t need to know anything.” — Philip J. Fry, Futurama
- “Don’t mind me, I’m just killing it today.”
- “I’m sexy and I know it.”
- “You know what the difference is between you and me? I make this look good.” — Will Smith, Men in Black
- “Today is all about me.”
- “I’ll let you know when I get tired of sharing this, but don’t hold your breath.”
- “It’s lonely at the top.”
- “There aren’t enough ‘O’s in ‘smooth’ to describe how smooth I am.”
- “Who could ever get bored of this?”
- “Consider yourself lucky.”
- “You can find my picture in the dictionary under ‘hot,’”
- “I feel your scorn, and I accept it.” — Jon Stewart
- “Shut up and check me out.”
- “I woke up like this.”
Short Baddie Captions
For when you want to keep it short and sweet. Well, maybe not sweet.
- “Nope.”
- “Praise me.”
- “This is sarcasm.”
- “No thanks.”
- “Bye, Felicia.”
- “You know it.”
- “Don’t you dare.”
- “Check this out.”
- “I’ve seen better.”
- “Meh.”
- “It’s nothing.”
- “+1.”
- “Yes please.”
- “Who, me?”
- “All for me.”
- “Sure, Jan.”
- “Bite me.’
- “Why, though?”
- “Feeling aggro.”
- “Uh-huh.”
- “Love.”
- “Hate.”
- “-1.”
- “Nailed it.”
- “You wish.”
Clever Baddie Captions
A razor-sharp wit is good. So is a razor-sharp tongue. But why not both? They say sarcasm is the recourse of a weak mind, but that’s not true. Also, those people are losers. Leave them wounded and impressed in equal measure.
- “… let us be elegant or die.” — Louisa May Alcott, Little Women
- “Feeling cute. Definitely won’t delete later.”
- “Sometimes you can really tell this website is free.”
- “My PHDs have PHDs.”
- “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.” — Jessica Rabbit, Who Framed Roger Rabbit
- “Every side is my good side.”
- “Mother, you have my father much offended.” — William Shakespeare
- “I do my accountant’s taxes.”
- “Smart is just a state of mind.”
- “Thy tongue sounds in accordance with thy form. (Vulcan)” — Aeschylus, Prometheus Bound and Seven Against Thebes
Sassy Baddie Captions
Subtlety may work for some folks, but It doesn’t work for you. Why bother with delicate phrasing when you can come right out and say it? There are so many other things that are way more fun to mince than words.
- “That boy’s about as sharp as a bowling ball.” — Foghorn Leghorn
- “Looks like someone makes a better door than a window.”
- “Here comes the BOOM!”
- “Oh, you were being serious?”
- “Some people just can’t handle perfection.”
- “In life there are three guarantees: Death, taxes, and me running circles around you.”
- “As far as bad ideas went, this stole the prize.” — Julia Quinn, It’s in His Kiss
- “You have no idea what you’re in for.”
- “Five, six, seven, eight, we do not appreciate.”
- “What’s the secret to my success? It’s just nunya. Nunya business.”
- “There’s ‘old’ old, and then there’s ‘hit the switch during the Big Bang’ old.”
- “Nobody has time for this nonsense.”
- “Half is better than none unless it be of a wit.” — Susan Lendroth
- “If I’m being abrasive I humbly request that you learn to deal with it.”
- “You can’t spell ‘genius’ without ‘us.’”
- “Sir Newton over here doesn’t seem to appreciate the gravity of the situation.”
- “Clever as the Devil and twice as pretty.” — Holly Black, White Cat
- “This party is decidedly pants.”
- “Oh go make a podcast or something.”
- “Three is only a crowd if you don’t measure up.”
- “Dear Karma, I really hate you right now, you made your point.” — Ottilie Weber, Family Ties
- “If you can’t handle me at my best, you don’t deserve me at my best. That’s not a typo, I have no worst.”
- “You all laugh at me because I’m different, but I laugh at you because you’re all the same.”
- “The greatest fools are ofttimes more clever than the men who laugh at them.” — George R.R. Martin, A Storm of Swords
- “So when did the fools decide to make you their ruler?”
Sassy Instagram Captions
For when you absolutely, positively, have to spread snark to everybody in your feed. And everyone in other people’s feeds, too. Use your internet clout to your advantage, and if you don’t have internet clout? Don’t worry, you will.
- “I think your followers would be happier with me.”
- “Forget stories, this is an Instagram Epic.”
- “Hashtag ‘you wish.’”
- “I have more likes on my posts than you have embarrassing life moments.”
- “I’m more trendy than the 30-year cycle.”
- “Just call me the king of all social media.”
- “Double-tap and give me those hearts, you know you want to.”
- “You’ve heard of ‘scream queens?’ Well I’m a ‘screen queen.’”
- “More like ‘Insta-BAM!’”
- “I’m at the front of everyone’s Discover list.”
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