As a writer, wordsmith, mom, and student of pop culture, I’m proud that I was familiar with Oxford’s 2023 Word of the Year. The word is “rizz” and if you’re unfamiliar, it’s derived from “charisma” and basically means the same thing—a person’s ability to attract a romantic partner through “style, charm or attractiveness.”
Now, I’d like to think I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom, but the mere fact that I just typed that sentence tells you all you need to know. I’m a proud member of Generation X and my daughter is almost 9 years old, making her both a tween and card-carrying member of Generation Alpha.
She displays plenty of “rizz” whilst rolling her eyes at me because apparently asking how school was is “suss” (you know, suspicious). Her “rizz” also shines through when delivering the news to me—at least once a week—that my style is “cringe.” The best is when my daughter, born in 2015, gleefully reminds me that “it’s not the ‘80s” whenever I say “dude” (today’s equivalent is “bruh” and, according to my daughter, only boys at her elementary school say it).
When I was my daughter’s age, everything was “lame,” a “bummer” or so over the top that you needed a “chill pill.” As a former teen magazine editor (RIP CosmoGIRL), I thought that I was “totes” with it and would never feel “FOMO” because, in the early aughts, it was my job to tell teen girls what was cool months in advance. Yes, I literally made “fetch” happen for them.
But as we all know, “fetch” never happened and I guess my attempt to be a cool mom isn’t happening either. This realization came upon viewing this eye-opening TikTok video where influencer and social media strategist Nicole Pellegrino (@nicolepellegrin0) interviews her Gen Alpha sister and best friend over slang that’s in and out. (She and the girls also followed up with two more videos breaking it all down for us).
I learned that “slay” is out (which my daughter confirmed so I won’t dare to tell her to “slay” before her theater class performances ever again) and the laughing emoji is no longer acceptable if you find something funny. Apparently, no one laughs at something funny so instead you’re to use the crying or the skull (aka “dead”) emojis instead. Sure, that makes sense, says the 46-year-old whose top emojis are the “normal” laughing emoji and the emoji that’s laughing so hard it’s sideways.
Oh, and forget everything you knew about what the word “preppy” means. It’s not someone who dresses straight out of the Ralph Lauren catalog or goes to prep school. The girls in the video describe it as someone who wears Lululemon. I’m admittedly still a bit confused on this one. According to some other TikToks, “new preppy” is a more frilly, summery, beachy vibe.
Then I learned something totally new from the TikTok video. You no longer have a booty, a milkshake that brings all the boys to the yard, or junk in the trunk. No, if you have a “thick booty” today then you have a GYAT. This is one term my daughter was not yet familiar with. She refused to accept that I wanted to teach her slang but it sent me on a mission to find out what else Gen Alpha is saying.
Knowing many of my friends have teens and even college-age kids, I took an informal poll on my personal Facebook page to discover other slang words their kids use. Turns out that GYAT (pronounced really fast and with feeling) is not the only term putting my Gen X brain into overdrive. So I figured I’d share.
If you agree or want to take part in something, you don’t say “cool” or even “I’m in” or “I’m down.” You simply say “bet.” As in “you bet” but that would be too clear and too wholesome. I assume if I ask my daughter if she wants to get ice cream after school she’d say “bet” (unless of course ice cream is out).
Then there’s “I’m him” which means “I’m the best.” It’s essentially calling yourself “The GOAT” (greatest of all time) but “GOAT” is still its own separate term. My best friend’s son, a freshman in high school, explained that if he made a basket during a big game, he’d say, “I’m him.” I wanted to know if a girl made the same basket or accomplished something big if you’d say “I’m her”? And the answer, to my surprise, was “no”—you’re “him” no matter if you’re a boy or a girl. I decided not to argue despite being armed with all my Gen X lessons in feminism.
Some other Gen Alpha slang that I learned from my very informal social media poll included “cap” which means “not true” but “no cap” means “true” which doesn’t make grammatical sense to me. But what do I know, I’m just a Gen Xer with a journalism degree . . . and have never felt more seen by Back to the Future’s Doc Brown when he just cannot wrap his head around why Marty McFly refers to everything as “heavy,” wondering if there’s “something wrong with the earth’s gravitational pull in the ‘80s?”
While I debate if I can add “rizz” into my lexicon in a way that won’t out me as a regular mom trying to be a cool mom, it’s worth mentioning the other finalists for Oxford’s Word of 2023. They include “prompt” (the instruction given to an artificial intelligence program that influences the content it creates), “situationship” (a romantic partnership that is not considered formal), and last but not least, “Swiftie” which yes, means an avid Taylor Swift fan.
My daughter may think I lack “rizz” and am “cringe” but she cannot deny that I was a Swiftie first and paved the way for her, excuse me, OUR obsession. So does that mean “I’m him” who made “fetch” aka Taylor Swift happen in our house? Insert the “dead” (NOT laughing) emoji here!
