We meet again. ¿Como estas?

I’ve been fairly social this past month. Now more than ever, it’s important to be in community with each other. The other night I was at an author drink’s night here in NYC. The usual bar we go to ended up being shut down for business. It was hard for it not to feel like some symbol from the universe. Some sort of bygone era. Changing times. Equally as symbolic, we went across the street to a new spot and had a lovely time.

The night flew by, as did most of January. I have been working on that secret personal thing I’ll eventually talk about. It has gutted my writing schedule, which is frustrating, but there’s nothing I can do but pivot. I keep using that word. Talking to writers about being frustrated in [Genre TK] “pivot to [New Genre TK].” Talking to myself in the mornings when I want to throw in the towel for whatever new disappointment the publishing industry comes up with next. Pivot!

I know, sometimes there’s nowhere to go or pivot. This business makes you feel like you’re one FRIENDS rerun away from a mental breakdown. One of my work wives and favorite humans, Adriana Herrera found out that Barnes & Nobles isn’t going to carry her historical romance, A Tropical Rebel Gets the Duke. It’s fucking sexy and follows a rebellious Afro-Latina doctor and the rakish Duke who would give up everything to be with her. It is ROMANCE. Publisher’s Weekly literally said: “A female doctor in 1880s Paris becomes entangled with a duke in Herrera’s breathless final Las Léonas romance…Herrera infuses their romance with her trademark sensuality while using their story to probe themes of racism, sexism, and abortion access. This is a worthy finale.”

Adriana has literally done everything authors are supposed to do. She’s had her covers completely changed “for the market.” She meets her deadlines and She’s uncompromising in her vision to write about Black Latinas and marginalized folks getting HEAs. She’d going on her first ever tour. And yet? Barnes & Noble comes to stomp on her progress.

This whole thing started with me leading up to talk about villains, but maybe the way publishing treats my friends is MY villain origin story. Anyway, if you love romance and historical or just want to support a writer doing something special, pick up the book from an independent book store when it comes out tomorrow!

SO, VILLAINS. I swear I had a point.

I’m juggling lots of projects, including my big edit for Rebel Angels. Every time I work on a book I tell myself it has to be the best version of me. Sure, this comes with some pressure, but I love the pressure of the deadline. Now that I know deadlines can shift and I have an agent I’m comfortable openly communicating, I don’t have as much of the negative part of stress. Of course, I don’t WANT to move by deadline, or feel like I’m letting my team down. I just know I have a safe place to land. So what I’m left with is the deadline adrenaline and pressure. Can I really “be all you can be” myself into a novel that sticks the landing? What does the best version of me even look like? I don’t think I will ever get there. Writing is not something I want to master because then it means I’m done learning. And I love to learn.

That brings be back, once again, to villains (specifically in fantasy and science fiction). As I’m trying to write Best Book Ever, I find myself revisiting my old work. I am proud of all my books, but I think villains are my weakness. Not because I fall in love with them but because in the past, I have punked out in how bad they can be. I know I have to give them motivation and dimension, but I struggle with villainy in general. Maybe I’m too focused on heroes. On the people who want to save the world. On the ones who are supposed to be perfect. The Superman. The Captain America.

This is crazy pants because I LOVE a well done baddie. I love Cardan and the Darkling and Regina from OUAT. Literally one of my favorite books last year wasLong Live Evil by Sarah Rees Brennan, and I think it was in part because it was 1) hilarious and 2) deeply layered. We love a well done baddie. I also don’t think that the answer to this is how hot the bad guy is, like those Blood Bunnies, (is that what they’re called?), who love hot serial killers. No judgement. I’m not that horny. (Or maybe just horny for a monster with a heart of gold.)

Why do I struggle with this? Back in the Harry Potter craze, I was never interested in the Slytherin/Malfoys. In Star Wars, I truly believe in the Rebellion and Resistance, even though light and dark are binaries. Maybe, deep deep down, I get stuck thinking about who gets to be a villain in the real world, and who gets to be one in fiction. Aside from superior aesthetics, what am I rooting for? What does it mean to do something heinous and cruel? What does it mean to take a life? What does it mean to destroy? I come from communities that are currently villainized by the government. The history of my ancestors is full of true terrors, so maybe I am holding back in some way. Or maybe I’m over analyzing something simple I can fix with craft. The answer isn’t as straightforward.

I’m not sure, but I am currently trying to untangle this knot within the bounds of fiction.

Perhaps it’s also a side effect of getting older. I wrote my first urban fantasy between the ages of 20-24. I didn’t know anything about anything, so good and evil was a binary. Now I want to dig deeper into that delicious gray area.

I want a hero who is dipped in the “darkness” the way Achilles was plunged into the river Styx by his ankle to shed his mortality. I want the weakness to be all the good, whatever way it manifests. I want to sit and examine this gray area. Admitting to myself that I have punked out with some villains, is helping me shape a lot of the action in Rebel Angels, and other projects I’m working on. I am also remembering the best parts I love about this ruinous process. When I was writing The Inheritance of Orquídea Divina I kept telling myself Dig deeper. Go there. Take a swing, even if it doesn’t work. So I’m going to listen to myself, for once, and dig deeper, go there, take a swing with these complicated and unruly characters I’m trying to shape. I want to believe that’s true for all of us in this on-going writer journey.

In other release news, I published my first ever Star Wars comic!

I got to write a one shot called THE ADVENTURES OF CHURO THE HUTT AND THE HEART OF EROUDAC. It’s in the Star Wars: The High Republic Adventures Phase III Annual and includes some brilliant stories from The high Republic authors. In mine my best lil’ Hutt goes on an adventure to the planet Eroudac because he wants to SAVE THE GALAXY. See? Heroes.

If you have read any of my STAR WARS books, then you’ve heard this world mentioned before. It’s topography is inspired by South America , but by way of A Galaxy Far Far Away.

It’s illustrated by the excellent @juansamuart. Letters by Comiccraft’s Tyler Smith and Bobby Bradford.

>>This anthology issue collects five tales of Republic bravery and Nihil treachery from across the galaxy! Featuring Jedi Knight Vernestra Rwoh, Jedi Younglings Jon, Bree, and Toko, Churo the Hutt, the sly Nihil Driggit, and the sinister Baron Boolan as they navigate the perils of the impending Battle of Eriadu! Brought to you by some of the most influential creators of the High Republic saga, including @justina.ireland, @crashwong , @cavanscottwriter, meeee, and @charlesdsoule and Rosemary Soule! • Illustrated by fan-favorite artists Liana Kangas, Nick Brokenshire, Andy Duggan, My girl @dianasousaart on some colors, and more!

I went to Forbidden Planet NYC with my friends and we each got a copy. I hope you do too!

Speaking of launches. Here’s a rewind to the first day of the rest of my life. (Que dramatica.) Making slow but steady progress on WIPs. Wrote a weird short story for a Latinx horror anthology edited by

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Speaking of villains, I am deep in a Dexter first-timer binge and I need to write about it soon. Also, went to watch my brother play live (check out his new song!), saw my agent, celebrated Little Ukrainian Christmas hosted by my bestie and had delicious horseradish vodka shots. Forgot to take a lot of photos at other events like the SCBWI party, where I bumped into my anthology editors for the Untold Legends series! [pictured below].

This is a long one. Thank you for reading. Let me know if there’s any writing or publishing topic you’d like to see from me in the next newsletter. This month’s fiction in The Midpoint #2 will be some monster romance. Definitely another venue for me to explore my dark side.

Love, love.